


Open Up

by Tumblr_Trash (orphan_account)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Depression, M/M, One Shot, Sad, Self-Harm, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-09 20:13:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6921406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Tumblr_Trash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the expedition, Levi was silent. To most people this was normal, to the people close to him, something was wrong, and there was really only one person who could help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Open Up

After the last expedition the Survey Corps had went through, the captin of the Special Operations Squad locked him self in his room, positioning himself against the door so no one could get into his room. His partner was banging on the door begging to get let in. Levi refused to move regaurdless. The faces of his underlings flashed back and forth in his mind along with their echoing screams replaying endlessly. His skin started to crawl and his fingers ached with the pressure of holding himself together.   
Hanji was restless. She needed to know Levi was okay because he was silent the entire way back and she swear she saw him on the brink of breaking into tears.  
"Levi please.. I know somethings bothering you, just open up"   
After a long while Levi stood up and angrily opened the door with Hanji almost falling into him. He knew Hanji wouldn't be the only one to bother him because Erwin had looked furious at Levis fault of action.   
"Okay I let you in, what?"  
"Well I- I was worried because you were so quiet and it looked like you were in a hurry to get here"  
"Maybe I had to use the fucking bathroom ever think of that? And yes I was silent because people died Hanji."  
She had no words, there was a sense of new bitterness in Levi, mostly because she'd never seen him with all these different emotions blazing behind his eyes. His eyes were holding back tears the best they could but the rest of him screamed he was mad at her.   
He shut the door in her face after she didn't speak but there was no more knocking after that. He collapsed by his door again, finally letting the waterfall of tears be released. He was silent but inside he was screaming at himself for not being good enough to save them, failing them and letting them die with terror the only other thing they knew. He cursed himself for forgetting they were only kids, and he fell asleep to this thought.

Weeks passed without Levi leaving his room, He barely ate or moved. his partner worried about him but Eren snagged a key from Erwns office to make sure Levi hadn't hurt himself and brought him food, but this one particular visit was different, Levis door was unlocked and Levi's back was facing the rest of the room with no blankets to cover him and his shoulders shaking violently. Eren stood for a moment, he never saw his captain like this before. Levi had let out probably the most heartbreaking whimper Eren had ever heard. Eren observed him a little while longer before his cries became too much to just stand idle by.

"Corporal! Are you okay, sir?"

The man had silenced his crying and quickly dried his tears, trying to strengthen his voice before speaking.  
"What are you doing here?" The older man questioned.  
"The door was wide open, what happened?"  
"Eren... I can trust you, can't I?" He had turned his body to face Eren but still hid his appearance.  
"Y-Yes sir why wouldn't you?"  
He nodded and asked if Eren could close and lock the door. Levi struggled with telling anybody anything, expecially anything about his personal life or emotions; he needed to keep up the act of a stone soldier, but stone weakens and crumbles under weight.  
"You can't tell anybody about what I said to you today, you hear me?"  
Eren nodded in response.  
"I.. I feel that I wasn't good enough to save your teammates.. I wasn't skilled enough to save any of them. I thought that they could themselves and they couldn't, I wasn't fast enough and I hate myself because I couldn't"  
His voice started to break.  
"And I'm so sorry for not being able to keep your friends alive and well, Eren. I feel like I'm falling into myself but I'm drifting farther away and I don't know what to do anymore."  
He was sobbing at this point. Eren was shocked. His captain had never been like this the entire time he had known him. Eren was hesitant to even touch Levi until he started crying harder and harder; by then Eren was holding onto him because he knew how long Levi was holding himself together. Levi didn't even try to struggle against Eren's hold. Eren noticed the white and red scars covering his arms and some on his hips. He was about ask about them, but he left the subject alone, for now he focused on helping Levi the best he could. It was like this for what seemed like an eternity, but eventually after Levi was done venting his feelings and crying horribly, Eren had learned he was like that all night and hadn't slept at all. Levi had asked Eren to stay there with him while he slept and Eren gladly agreed so Levi fell asleep next to Eren, who kept him warm.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this literally forever ago, but why not post it.


End file.
